Lovers Anonymous

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The day of the hearing, I left the house at my usual time, but I didn’t go to work. I called the office and told them I had an emergency; then I drove to Natasha’s. I wanted to see her family before they went to court. I stayed outside with the brothers to reassure them everything would be fine and reminded them to ignore anything Alice said. I didn’t get to see Natasha but that was just as well.
From there I went for a ride to clear my head. I considered breakfast but I couldn’t eat. Finally, I went to the Flamenco. It was closed, but Max let me in and Roland offered me a drink. After two drinks, it was time to go. I got to the courthouse thirty minutes early. I wanted to make sure I was the first one there. After waiting a bit, Natasha and her family appeared. I approached them discreetly and explained that it wouldn't be wise for the judge or any of the court officers to see me talking to them. Besides, if asked, I intended to tell the judge I barely knew Natasha and I had never met any of the other members of her family.
They were all nervous, even Jonah, and Natasha was shaking visibly. I was scared too but I knew they were counting on me so I put on an expression of absolute confidence and smiled at them. “Don’t worry, let me do all the talking and everything will be fine. I promise.” Then I nodded, turned and went inside the courtroom.
The single courtroom had a dozen or so benches. I sat in the far back corner so I could see everyone as they entered. A few minutes later, I heard loud voices out in the hallway. One of them belonged to Alice. The door opened and she entered. Even as she made her way to the far end of the first bench, she was hurtling insults out the open door. Natasha’s family entered angrily. Damn, the proceedings hadn’t even started yet and she had succeeded in getting them upset enough to argue with her. It was bad, very bad. I stood up and caught Jonah’s eyes. I frowned at him and shook my head slowly from side to side. He let out a sigh and shushed his family before corralling them at the opposite end of the front bench.
Alice turned and saw me sitting in the back. Without even trying to hide her anger, she got up and walked up to me. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
My heart was beating somewhere up near my throat, but I kept a cool appearance and smiled. “As your husband, I’m required to be here.”
“Why,” she snapped back, loud enough so the whole room could hear, “so you can defend your little whore?”
“No,” I replied calmly, “because it’s the law.”
Right about then a police officer entered the room. “Order in the court! All rise for the honorable Judge Mondesir.”
Everyone stood and I followed Alice back to the first row of benches and stood next to her. Once the courtroom was still, a pretty, forty-something woman in a long black robe entered the room, walked up to the dais, sat in the over-stuffed chair and pounded her gavel one time. “You may all be seated.” The judge took a few minutes to review the file.
A female judge! I couldn’t believe my luck. Even if Alice didn’t have an outburst, it was very unlikely this would go very far. Alice was here alone, representing herself, while Natasha was here with her family, and basically, looked like an innocent school-girl.
The judge signaled to the court officer and whispered in his ear. He then stepped forward and read from the file. “Judge Mondesir will now hear the case of Pierre versus Joseph. Alice Pierre please approach the bench.”
Alice walked up to the dais and started talking, “Judge, I demand justice! That woman and her family,” Alice pointed to Natasha, “attacked me without provocation…”
The Judge pounded the dais with her gavel. “Hold on Mrs. Pierre, you’ll get your chance, but this is a hearing, not a trial. I'm here to determine whether or not a crime has been committed, and whether a trial is necessary. Please keep your statement brief and stick to the facts. Now start by stating your full name and address for the record.”
Alice took a deep breath to calm herself then spoke her name. The proceedings went pretty much as I had predicted. After Alice finished with her fantastic story of being kidnapped, tortured and beaten, Natasha was asked to approach the bench and not only refuted everything Alice had said, but added that she had never met Alice until the day of the incident. Furthermore, she said that even then she only saw Alice through a window, because her mother kept her in the house as Alice tried to fight two of her brothers in the front yard.
Several times, Alice tried to provoke Natasha and her family but they simply ignored her. This infuriated Alice and the outbursts occurred with increasing frequency. Judge Mondesir was not amused and several times threatened to hold Alice in contempt. Eventually, I was asked to approach the bench. I told the judge Alice was emotionally disturbed, that I had no idea why she had chosen these innocent people as her latest target and I wanted to extend my sincerest apologies to the honorable judge for wasting so much of the court’s precious time with my poor wife’s delusional behavior. Alice went berserk. She lunged towards me and tried to tackle me to the ground, all the while screaming obscenities at the top of her lungs. When the court officer tried to subdue her, she scratched his arm and tried to bite him. Judge Mondesir ordered the case dismissed and a second officer was called in to restrain Alice.

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